50 ways to annoy Runemarks characters
by norsegodchick13
Summary: How would you annoy Maddy? Loki? This is a list of ways to annoy various Runemarks characters, with results.
1. Chapter 1

Fifty ways to annoy various Runemarks characters

Maddy

1. Call her goblin girl.

2. Make her wear a very sexy dress.

3. Go up to her and say "OH MAH LAWS A DEMON!" and hit her with a banana peel.

4. Set her up on a blind date with Loki.

5. Appear at the date and say "I knew it! You would make a couple!" and squeal and make references to the book.

6. Push her into Netherworld.

7. Talk about her sister, and how Mae is so much prettier than her.

8. Steal her blueberry gluten-free muffin top made by the company eggo that doesn't even make very good waffles or pancakes and the accompaning blueberries.

9. Write about it in your diary.

10. Try to wash off her runemark.

11. When it doesn't come off, ask if she got a tattoo.

12. Hit her in the face with kaen and scream "HAHA PAYBACKKKKK YEEEEEAH!"

13. Then, throw a flaming net on her.

14. Eat her waffles.

15. While right next to her, talk loudly about how anyone with a runemark should die because they are a demon.

16. Poke her.

17. Poke her on facebook.

18. Poke her in her sleep.

19. Grab a stick, point it at her, and yell "Avada Kevadra!"

20. Say "Are you team Jacob? You must be! Because of Dogstar, right! Oh my gosh, I am so smart!"

21. Hide behind big rocks and spy on her.

22. Hide behind small rocks and spy on her.

23. Kill Skadi.

24. Call her a witch.

25. Sing the Do you Like Waffles song all the time.

26. Hack her gmail and send porn of her to Loki.

27. Hack Loki's gmail and send porn of Loki to her.

28. Say that because she is Modi, she should be able to shapeshift.

29. Then, push her off a cliff.

30. Get onto her iPod, and make the only song "Popular" from Wicked.

31. Make it impossible for her to stop listening to it.

32. Lock her in a small room with Adam Scattergood.

33. Bow to her, and proclaim you will always be her faithful servant.

34. Try to figure out what she's afraid of.

35. Push random, unoriginal things into her face to do that successfully.

36. Make Twilight references (Bella and Jacob)

37. Make Harry Potter references (cuz harry potter pwnxorz twilight!)

38. Sing Britney Spears songs at the top of your lungs.

39. Tie her to a tree.

40. Lock her into a small room with Nat Parson.

41. Eat her nachos.

42. Eat her.

43. Make sure to use ketchup.

44. Pretend it's blood.

45. Freak out over the "blood"

46. Then sing the My Chemical Romance song.

47. Compare her to Beyonce.

48. Compare her to Justin Bieber.

49. OMG NINJA

50. Get her a cat.

**One of the reviews told me to write a paragraph about one of these happening...**

**I'm bored, so I'll do that.**

"The view is awesome." Maddy looked down.

"I know, right? You know what?" Her friend Loki stood beside her.

"What? Is it about shapeshifting again, because-"

"No, but you _should_ be able to shapeshift. It's easy, I'll help you figure it out!" He grinned.

"Look, I'm not going to be able to, it's impossible."

"I can!"

"I'm not you."

"How do you know that?"

"That- that doesn't even make sense, of course I'm not you!"

"True," The trickster said, "but what if we're in the Matrix? Huh? Huh? Huh? Ever think of that?"

"Um, no..."

"Ha!"

"Right, I'll just consider that we're in the Matrix." She rolled her eyes.

"It's easier to shapeshift when you're under pressure."

"Um, okay, but when will I ever be under pressure to AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Maddy was cut off by Loki pushing her off the cliff.


	2. Loki

Loki

1. Walk up to him and make very cheesy hissing noises. In fact, don't even hiss at all, just say the word hiss.

2. Treat him like he's an actual dog.

3. Tell him that Jacob is SO much better.

4. Bring your pet boa constrictor, Fluffy, over whenever talking to him.

5. Speak to him. In parseltongue.

6. Ask where he keeps the razor blades he uses for cutting himself.

7. Set him up on a blind date with Maddy.

8. Spray him with a fire extinguisher.

9. Call him a poser emo wannabe.

10. Ask him if he dyes his hair.

11. Call his signature purple.

12. Tell Maddy he stole her blueberry gluten-free muffin top made by the company eggo that doesn't even make very good waffles or pancakes and the accompaning blueberries.

13. Hit him in the face with kaen.

14. Throw flaming nets at him.

15. Sing the song "Cartoon Heroes" extremely obnoxiously around him.

16. Dress up in a trench coat, dark shades, and a fedora. Follow him around, call him the subject, and record everything he does into a notebook.

17. When he asks why you're doing this, tell him "your brother told me to".

18. Set him up on another blind date. With Nat Parson.

19. Tell him he should've just not accepted when Balder gave his life for him, Balder was such a better person.

20. Get Skinnamarink stuck in his head.

21. When a bunch of people are around, shout out loud that you know about his sexual activities with the goblins.

22. Introduce him to Legolas.

23. Then, grab Legolas and run, screaming "I must save the pretty people before Loki kiiiiiiiiillllllllllllllllls them like he did to Balder!"

24. Say that he's not even that great an evil villain.

25. Give him several parenting books.

26. Write an extremely detailed Loki/Odin fanfiction. Make him read it.

27. Scream "JACOB!" and run at him and tackle him.

28. Get some really caffeinated energy drinks. Convince him to drink them. Run.

29. Say that he killed Mufasa.

30. Call him Dogstar all the time.

31. Get him really high, then push him onto Maddy. Watch from afar.

32. Kill Maddy, and replace her with Max from Maximum Ride.

33. Get Loki and Maddy/Max married.

34. Watch them name the children: I'mnotMaddyI'mMaximum, 'msogladyou'realive, Youknowyou'realotlikeIggy, and WhothefuckisIggy?.

35. Tell him his hair is actually pink.

36. Convince him that his TRUE name is Roger.

37. Convince Balder that he should get revenge…

38. Shout out random, personal secrets about Loki when a bunch of people are around.

39. Call him Alan.

40. Put him in a box and mail him to China. Watch China send him to some other country, until all the countries are mailing a drugged half-demon around and World War III starts.

41. Then, accuse him of starting the war.

42. Ask him what the answer to life, the universe, and everything is.

43. Do the Peanut Butter Jelly Time dance until he commits suicide/homicide.

44. Tell him that when he had children with Angrboda, you tested him for HIV and he was positive.

45. Make Justin Bieber's next concert in World Below.

46. Say "You looked a lot better in the anime…"

47. Refuse to explain what the anime is.

48. Tie him to a giant snake.

49. Tell everyone in Thunderclan that he was stealing prey from them, and that they have to go after him and get the prey back.

50. When he's typing something really important, delete it all.

**Yay, paragraph time!**

Maddy was standing near World Below. A tall, blonde, hot guy was standing next to her, aiming arrows around. Loki came out of the tunnel to World Below, his hair streaked with the colour of his signature.

"Hey, who's that?" He asked, pointing at the blonde.

"I am Legolas. Who are you?" The blonde asked.

"Loki. Um, hate to be rude and all, but what in Hel's blue fingerless fishnet glove are you doing here?"

"We ran into each other around Malbry. Adam Scattergood was being a bastard, so Legolas followed me up here. He's looking for someone called Eowyn." Maddy said, smiling.

"Oh, okay. So, who's Eo-"

"I must save the pretty people before Loki kiiiiiiiiillllllllllllllllls them like he did to Balder!" Maddy started trying to drag Legolas away.

"What? Maddy, I would never- Why did you have to bring up Balder? Now all the readers will be expecting some angsty crying scene!" Loki looked offended, and the streaks in his hair turned red with anger and blended into his hair.

"Who's Balder?" Legolas asked, trying to fight off Maddy.

"He- Look, you're not going to judge me for it, are you?"

"No, of course not! Unless you did something like kill him, but I'm sure it was nothing like that!" Legolas said cheerily.

"Uh, yeah, that kinda _is_ what happened, actually..." The redhead said sheepishly. (Not sure who the redhead is? Read that paragraph just above "Who's Balder?")

"Well... I'm sure it was just an accident, and you didn't mean to kill him!" Legolas laughed.

"Er, yeah, all an accident that we can _all forget about _*cough*Maddy*cough*." Loki glared at her.

"No! It was not an accident! You planned it all out, then made poor Hod take the blame!" She screeched, trying to drag Legolas away.

"Sen tir?" Legolas' eyes widened.

"Wha?"

"Is that true?" He clarified for the confused trickster.

"Well, yes, it is." Loki laughed nervously.

"Then I have to get revenge for Balder and Hod!" Legolas broke free of Maddy's grip, and chased Loki around the hill. Loki's streaks were now silver with fear.


	3. OneEye

**50 ways to annoy One-Eye**

**Obviously I don't own Runemarks.**

**Anything with a star next to it was thought of by Blonde Writing.**

1. Ask him why Loki's so young and he's so old.*

2. Creep up on him from his blind spot.*

3. Bring leek.

4. Whisper in his ear: "Hello Odin... It's Mimir..."*

5. Say that you like Loki more.*

6. Call him granpa.

7. Accuse him of betraying Maddy.*

8. Use the little tree metaphor to do so.

9. In the middle of the night, sneak into his room, tie him up, drag him to a roundhouse and leave him there. *

10. Make sure to put a deafeningly-loud stereo in the roundhouse and make it play 'Friday' by Rebecca Black on repeat. *

11. Say that he's a lousy king of gods. *

12. Everytime you pass him, attempt to high-five him while yelling 'Odin! Mah brotha from anotha motha, GIMME SOME!' *

13. Say he was way cooler as One-Eye.*

14. Cyber stalk him.*

15. Actually stalk him.

16. Come up with some crazy evil plot to kill all the gods. *

17. Explain it to him in great detail. *

18. When he says you're crazy, shout "THIS. IS. ASGAaAaAaAaAaAaAaRd!*

19. Rickroll him.

20. Get all emotional about whoever stole the blueberry gluten-free muffin top made by the company eggo that doesn't even make very good waffles or pancakes and the accompaning blueberries had no choice because of him.

21. If you are ever trapped somewhere with him, say you have to escape quietly and sneakily.

22. Then, turn into a Reshiram, scream, and fly through the roof.

23. When he says something along the lines of "Wtf?", ask him, "You mean - you haven't beaten Pokemon Black and White yet? Ha! I beat it in a day!"

24. He'll explain he doesn't play pokemon. Go into a huge rant about how amazing pokemon is.

25. Then say, "Your _Flareon_ would know!"

26. When he says, "I don't _have _a Flareon!", have Loki jump out in a Flareon hoodie.

27. Flare! Flareon!

28. Try to psychoanalyze him.

29. Use the inkblot test.

30. Come up with some crazy analysis that doesn't even make sense.

31. Tell Heimdall that Odin stole his eyes and car and is currently driving up the Empire State Building with Loki.

32. Become his personal cheerleader.

33. Even worse - become a fangirl.

34. Give Loki 20,000 Red Bulls.

35. Turn everything he says into a meme.

36. **IT'S OVER 9000!**

37. Diagnose him with a non-extant illness.

38. TALK LIKE HOWEVER YOU HEAR THIS.

39. tokk lyk hovr u heere thihs.

40. Call him a n00b.

41. Get him to step on a shocky pen. (I did that once... But now the shocky pen is safely dismantled on my desk.)

42. Replace all his pens with the shocky kind.

43. Quote the Sound of Music at him.

44. If he gets annoyed, say, "I'm sorry! Please don't send them after me!"

45. Refuse to explain who them are.

46. Then ask him why he wasn't in the anime.

47. Make him explain why Maddy was a pink-haired airhead girl, too.

48. Introduce him to Naruto.

49. .sdrawkcab gnihtyreve yaS

50. Say generals are overrated.

**Now for the paragraph some reviewer made me write...**

23,200,000 results...

That was too many. Loki sighed. He added one-eye to the search box, and hit enter.

436,000 results...

That could be manageable, but it would take forever. What else could he add?

"What are you doing?" Odin came up behind him.

"Cyberstalking you." Loki frowned, and added blue signature.

161,000 results. Still too many. He tried typing in hat.

112,000.

"That's weird." Odin said.

"Uh-huh, let's try your favourite sitcom..." Loki typed in a few more things.

28,000.

"I never told you that."

"I know, but I kind of guessed because I hacked your computer and looked at your hulu and netflix history. Was I right?"

"Well, yes, but- Agh! Stop it! Why are you cyberstalking me!"

"Cause."

**I think this one was hardest of all. Especially the paragraph... o.O**

**Oh well. Rate and review, or I will send Flareon and Reshiram after you!**


	4. AN

Author's note:

This isn't a chapter. I just wanted to let you know that I'll be gone for a week, and I won't be able to update.

I will ASAP when the week's over, though. Keep reviewing, and give me suggestions for the stories.

Thanks for your consideration!


	5. Skadi

**Last chapter had the disclaimer.**

**I think it's sort of obvious, though. Why are we writing fanfic?**

**Well, it's Skadi's turn to be annoyed! Here we go!**

1. Whenever you see her, play the song "Ice Queen" by Within Temptation.

2. If you don't have the song, sing it.

3. Mispronounce her name.

4. Stare at the runewhip, giggle, and walk off.

5. Repeat 4.

6. Light her hair on fire.

7. If she walks into the same room as you, proceed to put on a parka and snowpants.

8. Try to get her to care about the blueberry gluten-free muffin top made by the company eggo that doesn't even make very good waffles or pancakes and the accompaning blueberries.

9. Promise her the Whisperer.

10. Then lead her through about 10 miles of aimless searching for someone.

11. When done, reveal you don't actually HAVE the Whisperer.

12. When she tries to kill you, have your backup handy to knock her out.

13. Or, don't have any backup, but try to convince her you do.

14. Suggest divorce counseling.

15. Ask about who gets custody.

16. Try to get her to reveal what she REALLY thinks about everyone.

17. Do your best imitation of Vanilla Ice around her.

18. Program a thermometer to say -999,999,999,999 kelvin or something (even though I don't think that temperature is possible...)

19. Then, show it to her after placing it against her forehead.

20. Take her and Loki on Dr. Phil.

21. Show her this list.

22. Actually do everything on this list.

23. Make a confusing paradox, tell her about it.

24. When she cannot sleep over it, come back and tell her that you made an error and the solution is really simple.

25. Get Weird Al to interview her.

26. Do a sort of "My Name is Boxxy" thing for her.

27. Introduce her to 4chan.

28. When you see her, say "Eesh. Chilly, much?"

29. Make dumb blonde jokes.

30. Try to figure out how to spell her name without looking at a sheet of paper.

31. Show her your attempts.

32. All her base are belong to you.

33. Introduce her to Mello.

34. Comment on how similar they are.

35. Bring Matt along.

36. Make her watch the entire Death Note series with you.

37. Make her watch the entire any anime series with you.

38. Inform her that all blondes are evil.

39. Try to make ice cream by pouring cream on her.

40. Shout "It's broken!" when it doesn't work.

41. Skadi is now an it.

42. Ask her what the answer to life, the universe, and everything is.

43. Laugh if she doesn't know.

44. Try to capture her in a pokeball.

45. Stab her with a fork.

46. Stab her with a spoon.

47. Stab her with a fspoonfe. (Combination fork, spoon, and knife. One of my friends brought one on a camping trip.)

48. Try to decapitate her with a fspoonfe.

49. Dye her hair red.

50. If you have performed 49, draw kaen reversed on her arm in permanent marker.

* * *

**Please review! Next is probably Nat.**


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